What I Understand Now That My Children are Adults

Being A Mother Doesn’t End, But Your Role In Their Lives Shifts Monumentally

Image for post
Image for post
Photo by Sharon McCutcheon on Unsplash

As a mother you have created a life and you have zero claim to it.

You gestated a person who needs your nurturance, however good or bad, attentive or inattentive you will be at that, but one day, at first slowly, and then more purposefully, that person will no longer need you, might not even want you around much.

And, eventually, that someone will stake its claim on itself and you will just have to watch.

It is nearly impossible to see this future under the pile of young child demands and interest and attention. “I can’t even pee alone,” mothers of young children cry.

Image for post
Image for post
Photo by Marvin Meyer on Unsplash

Your job now is to let them be the one who pushes away, let them be the person they are now, separate from you.

And, if you can come to appreciate them for their person-ness, like a young person you might meet at a dinner party, then you have not created death at all, but life, a new life, a real life, one that will go out and impact the world in some way big or small.

Writer of fiction, essays, poetry. NYC. Novel coming out in 2021. jesscio100@gmail.com

Get the Medium app

A button that says 'Download on the App Store', and if clicked it will lead you to the iOS App store
A button that says 'Get it on, Google Play', and if clicked it will lead you to the Google Play store